It's over, my lover - you will always, always in my heart!

It's Over Benging, I'm calling end to our love affair!
OK, I have been thinking about this for a long time and gave it a serious thought. I feel it’s time to break off my love affair with food. My metabolism has finally reached its retiring years and cannot keep up with all my intakes…

I broke down and ordered the Nutrisystem Plan yesterday… Because, I am not equiped to do it on my own. I've tried many fad diets own my own but most seemed too restricted and often too complicating to follow with all the researching, counting and adding! Crap, how do I figure out the calories for a homemade sauce, that I don't know what its made up of? It started to feel like I was back in school and struggling with homeworks everyday. So many times, I screwed up without realizing or wanting and the results were slow or not even noticeble. So, maybe this way, I only have to stick to the planed meals and approved addatives and snacks.

I envy the people who eat food as a necessity, not as a pleasure like myself. Such a person is my husband, Mark. If he didn’t absolutely have to, he rather not eat and not waist time while doing so. He eats only because he knows he cannot function without at least one meal a day… Errr..

Me, on the other hand, I love food with a passion to the point of borderlining an obsession! I don’t even have to be hungry. I can be easily enticed just by it's aroma, color and presentation! I will eat just because someone next to me is eating…

Friends and acquiantances throughout my life's been amazed by the speed of my metabolism I once had and many seriously believed that I probably had belly full of tape worms from all the sushi and raw food I loved to consume. They always taunted me that one day, when my age catches up that I will ballon up like a Zeppelin...

How I wished they were wrong, but I start to notice the numbers on my scale increasing, along with little extra handle here and little giggles there. I hoped it would somehow magically disappear, because my clothes confiremed the reality. It was one gloomy day when I put on one of my favorite jeans and saw my reflection in a mirror. Long and behold...I had a “Muffin top”!

That was it! I went out and joined a gym and hired a personal trainer. It has been two months with a personal trainer, working out with weights and cardio, but I still have not lost much weight. It was apparent to me, but I kept looking away from the inevitable truth…

I have to eat healthier along with the excercise. No more binging, no more 5 plates at a buffet and no more eating until the bed time. And certainly, no more frequent alcohol intake.

I have to really keep myself motivated to stick with my meal plans.

I really have to get back in shape.

I want to feel good about myself again!

So, good bye, Lover, All you can eat,...I will always long for you...